they said they heard you say put it in my butt
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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