eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
