I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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