I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
