Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
