so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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