I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
