why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
