so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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