Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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