I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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