my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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