best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
