I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
