I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
