Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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