That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
