After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
