I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
