youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize