She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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