So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
