I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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