I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
