I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
