We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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