Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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