Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
