idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
