I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
