Screwed.edu
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
