I think my vagina is haunted
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
