Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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