You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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