The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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