I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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