You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
