i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize