i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Let's paint friendship bongs
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
