even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You took a bar mat shot.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
