Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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