Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
