Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize