it was like having sex with a tree stump
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
