I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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