my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
