I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
