No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
