put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
