Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
