White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
