pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
