I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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