dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
