do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
