so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
