we're blogging at a bar
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
