it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
