I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
