he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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