so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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