Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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