I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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