dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
