tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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