I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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